they say lesser the expectations, easier life becomes . but no one ever talks about how hard it is to be in a relationship with someone ( as a friend, as a daughter , all of it) and not develop expectations . i know one can only master the art of ‘no expectations’ when one is at peace with oneself and is content . I have been trying for almost two years now to become a better person and work towards a peaceful& content state of mind. why does no one ever talk about how hard it is to live in the 21st century and not feel judged or stop oneself from judging. all these writers talk about how ‘one fine day they had a breakthrough and everything became clear to them and nothings been the same since cuz the learnt to accept themselves’. Do i have to wait all my life for this moment of clarity ? i mean am i supposed to keep fighting my negative attitude and thoughts till one fine day i have a breakthrough . This whole serenity is something you can achieve with time if you work on it bullshit is fun to read about but now i m tired , I cant keep putting myself down ( which inturn leads to me putting others down). The only fucking people who i know who have found this parallel universe where everything makes sense , are those who smoke up or are always tripping . Not that im against drugs, maybe i ll do them one day too but at this point of time i ve become impatient and i dont know what to expect from life anymore . this is literally the weirdest rant cuz it makes no sense and i ve written complete bullshit but i needed to do this .
last time i had this feeling of giving up i chopped all my hair off , i cant do that again…. maybe i should get a piercing or two ….. grrrrrrrr